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Riftsong
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Name: Kalah Country: United States State: New York Metro: Ithaca Gender: Female
Interests: Ecclectic, but here are a few: Babies, Reiki, fuzz, gardening, ladybugs, cooking, exploring, rocks, rambling, left socks, nursing, odd stuffed animals, and things like that. Expertise: Healing. Emotional, physical and spiritual. Everyone has to be good at something. I nurture the lives around me. Occupation: Medical
Message: message me AIM: Riftsong
Member Since:
3/29/2006
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| I'm tired today. Willow is getting me up between 5 and 6 every morning. Corey's working all the time. I haven't really even seen him in a few days. I'm 30 weeks pregnant. I'm working 25-30 hours a week. Trying to put a dent in the housework, or at least keep enough clean clothes in the house for everyone. I'm having a lot of cramping and contractions. Not the kind you have to worry about, just the kind that drives you nuts. My friend just had her baby and now I'm super anxious to have mine, except that I have at least 2 more months to wait. I hope I get a second wind soon.
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| I wish we had more money. I would like to pay off our debts, school loans, and mortgage and get on with our lives. Having babies is putting a dent in our finances, but I want the babies even more than the money. Things are tight around here some days, but we both have jobs and there's always enough to get by.
When I get to thinking like this I end up thinking about all the families who have lost their jobs to the poor economy and lost their homes to foreclosure. Even all the families I met in other countries whose children are literally starving to death. We can keep up with the mortgage. We have enough food. We even have enough food to be overweight.
It's so easy to get caught up in what I don't have and what I want. I so often forget that I am among the very richest people worldwide just because I have a car and a house. I can take my kid to the doctor whenever she is sick. I get plenty of good healthy food to grow the new baby strong.
The last few weeks I've been waffling between feeling very pathetic and poor and overworked, and feeling incredibly blessed and content. Maybe it's the pregnancy giving me mood swings...
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| Had my second appointment with the homebirth midwife. It was a kinda boring one. We went over nutrition and self care. It was all stuff I already knew, but I appreciated that she went over it because it was much more information than my hospital midwife had given me and a zillion percent more than I got from the doctor. The next appointment is the one where we talk about the actual delivery. I'm really looking forward to that.
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| A couple nights ago I picked Willow up from daycare. It was after dark and she noticed the stars. I think this was the first time. She pointed up at the sky and said "pretty". I told her they were pretty stars. She looked at them another minute and thought about it. "Pretty stars", she agreed. Every night since then she has stopped before getting in the car to make sure I see the pretty stars. What a nice reminder.
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| I'm so tired of all the games. I want to be able to say what needs to be said without telling stories and hiding behind half truths. Trying to be diplomatic and socially acceptable sucks. | | |
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