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Riftsong
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Name: Kalah
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: Ithaca
Gender: Female
Interests: Ecclectic, but here are a few: Babies, Reiki, fuzz, gardening, ladybugs, cooking, exploring, rocks, rambling, left socks, nursing, odd stuffed animals, and things like that.
Expertise: Healing. Emotional, physical and spiritual. Everyone has to be good at something. I nurture the lives around me.
Occupation: Medical
Message: message me
AIM:  Riftsong
Member Since:
3/29/2006
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| I wish we had more money. I would like to pay off our debts, school loans, and mortgage and get on with our lives. Having babies is putting a dent in our finances, but I want the babies even more than the money. Things are tight around here some days, but we both have jobs and there's always enough to get by.
When I get to thinking like this I end up thinking about all the families who have lost their jobs to the poor economy and lost their homes to foreclosure. Even all the families I met in other countries whose children are literally starving to death. We can keep up with the mortgage. We have enough food. We even have enough food to be overweight.
It's so easy to get caught up in what I don't have and what I want. I so often forget that I am among the very richest people worldwide just because I have a car and a house. I can take my kid to the doctor whenever she is sick. I get plenty of good healthy food to grow the new baby strong.
The last few weeks I've been waffling between feeling very pathetic and poor and overworked, and feeling incredibly blessed and content. Maybe it's the pregnancy giving me mood swings...
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| Had my second appointment with the homebirth midwife. It was a kinda boring one. We went over nutrition and self care. It was all stuff I already knew, but I appreciated that she went over it because it was much more information than my hospital midwife had given me and a zillion percent more than I got from the doctor. The next appointment is the one where we talk about the actual delivery. I'm really looking forward to that.
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| A couple nights ago I picked Willow up from daycare. It was after dark and she noticed the stars. I think this was the first time. She pointed up at the sky and said "pretty". I told her they were pretty stars. She looked at them another minute and thought about it. "Pretty stars", she agreed. Every night since then she has stopped before getting in the car to make sure I see the pretty stars. What a nice reminder.
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| I'm so tired of all the games. I want to be able to say what needs to be said without telling stories and hiding behind half truths. Trying to be diplomatic and socially acceptable sucks. | | |
| "Well, anyway, I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming slowly towards me. And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was. So it came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough. But it wasn't that kind of fear. I wasn't afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it - if you can understand. Well, it came close up to me and looked straight into my eyes. And I shut my eyes tight. But that wasn't any good because it told me to follow it."
"You mean it spoke?"
"I don't know. Now that you mention it, I don't think it did. But it told me all the same. And I knew I'd have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it. And it led me a long way into the mountains. And there was always this moonlight over and round the lion wherever we went. So at last we came to the top of a mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden - trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it there was a well.
"I knew it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells - like a very big, round bath with marble steps going down into it. The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I don't know if he said any words out loud or not.
"I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.
"But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So 1 scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.
"Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.
"Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - "You will have to let me undress you." I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.
"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away."
"I know exactly what you mean," said Edmund.
"Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phoney if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them.
"After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me -"
"Dressed you. With his paws?"
"Well, I don't exactly remember that bit. But he did somehow or other: in new clothes - the same I've got on now, as a matter of fact. And then suddenly I was back here. Which is what makes me think it must have been a dream."
"No. It wasn't a dream," said Edmund.
"Why not?"
"Well, there are the clothes, for one thing. And you have been - well, un-dragoned, for another."
"What do you think it was, then?" asked Eustace.
"I think you've seen Aslan," said Edmund.
-Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis
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